Kill Bush!!

Cuz if I ain't getting none, why should anyone else?

Yes, that was a dirty joke, unless you're a US Federal agent, someone who likes Bush (the person), or just an asshole/idiot (they're all pretty much the same); in which case that reflects a plot by the denizens of Shinyland to kill George W Bush. No, really, we honestly don't have anything better to do, or lives to get to, and we broadcast these things OVER THE FUCKING INTERNET, ON OUR FUCKING BLOGS! For those of you who haven't heard, some girl posted a bulletin or something on her Myspace with "kill bush" (or some such) in it, so she was taken in for questioning. By the Secret Service. While she was in school.

I can just imagine what the scene at the White House would’ve been like –
Secret Service Agent: “Mr. President, a 14 year old girl in Sacramento wants to kill you.”
Dubya: “Gosh darn it, now I’m really smoked! Call in the Marines!”
Secret Service Agent: “Sir, by the way, we’ve received word of another Al-Qaeda plot in the works.”
Dubya: “Forget about them, they're really just misunderstood. I mean, they led us to all those dope and oil fields, didn't they? Focus on this kid. See if she knows where my teddy bear is. And where’s Dick? He was supposed to read me my bedtime story...”

Haven’t they got bigger fish to fry? Or are they really worried that a 14 year old schoolgirl on the other side of the country is really going to try, let alone succeed at, killing Bush? And doesn’t the Secret Service have anything better to do than going after kids and monitoring Myspace? After all, Osama is suuuure to use Myspace to contact his terrorist brethren across the globe…Why bother with messengers and drops and all those other spy-thingies; he uses Myspace! Maybe he uses Blogger (or Xanga, or Multiply, or whatever), too, in which case I’m going to have to figure out exactly how he goes so long without pizza or the internet in those damn caves of his.

Then again, it’s typical of a Republican to be this stupid; does Orrin Hatch ring a bell? Of course, Hatch is more of a hypocritical sellout than he is stupid, but you get the idea. I wonder what Samuel L Jackson would say if he was political and anti-Republican...”Enough is enough! I have HAD it with these MUTHAFUGGIN REPUBLICANS in this MUTHAFUGGIN COUNTRY!”, and then he’d proceed to kill them all with his mad Jedi skillz0rz. Or something.

Not to say that all Republicans are stupid, hypocrites, sellouts, or general all-round asses; I know plenty of normal Republicans who are perfectly nice people, and pretty smart, too. It’s just the leadership that I take exception to. Specifically the leader. In any case, all this is supposedly illegal on my part - you're not supposed to make threats against the "President" in the US of A. Not that I'm in the US of A, but I still wonder if he'll send his CIA men in for a rendition and haul me off to Gitmo or wherever...

Of course, this is all purely hypothetical, since you're probably neither a US federal agent, an asshole/idiot, nor someone who likes bush, I mean Bush, or you wouldn't be reading this. Assuming that you'd be able to read at all. And since you can, therefore you (probably) aren't (one of the three), suffice to say that Bush, I mean bush, does equate to (a) pussy.

(something to keep in mind - the last time somone listened to (a) Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years)