New Deal

The other day my dad and I went to see Casino Royale. Watching the new Bond movie at a movie theater has been one of our tried and tested traditions, something that’s held ever since Pierce Brosnan was signed on (we never liked Dalton much). So it was with a great deal of caution that we approached newcomer Daniel Craig’s first outing as James Bond – we weren’t quite sure what to expect from this new deck of cards, you see, especially since he’s the first blonde Bond. Anyway, we went there and settled in to our seats, hoping for the best, but secretly expecting the worst.

The film, however, managed to beat my expectations considerably. Craig’s portrayal of a younger, colder, and more reckless Bond was just about perfect. Gone is the smooth player with his fast cars, and laser watches – instead, we have a skilled rookie who makes mistakes, acts without thinking, and has no compunctions at all. The fact that he’s blonde, when combined with his eyes, only adds to the “coldness” of his face, which is quite refreshing after Pierce Brosnan and his incessant charm. Not that he was bad, just that the change was nice, even if Craig lacks that touch of an Irish accent I loved in Brosnan and Connery.

(correction - Connery's got a Scottish accent, not Irish. Sorry.)

Another thing worth noting – there’s no Q or Moneypenny. Frankly, I feel that’s a good thing. No more fantabulous gadgets, no more fawning secretary, and no more deus ex machina to bail him out. The only tech this new Bond seems to use is his cell phone (an Ericsson, for the curious). Yet another most welcome change – there’s no Bond uber-car. As good-looking as they were, Die Another Day’s car and its active camouflage were the limit. The new Bond relies more on his fists and feet – plenty of brawling and general running/jumping around. Better for the inner adrenaline junkie when there’s no magic laser popping out of a shoe or whatever. What’s more, he isn’t so fond of his dinner jackets (or suits, or whatever you call them), either– he wears what he feels like wearing, and doesn’t obsess over his bloody martinis.

As for the story, well, it could've been better, although it could've been much worse too. The rundown (for those few of you living in Siberia who haven’t heard, given the recent media hype) – Bond becomes a 00 agent, goes after some dude called “Le Chiffre” (or summat), and gets involved in some high-stakes poker. Card games were never that interesting to me, but this one wasn’t so bad. For the most part, though, I was busy checking out Eva Green while the poker was going on ;).

Speaking of which, we now come to the Bond girls (knew you were waiting for it). Call me sexist, call me a male chauvinist pig, hell, call me Elmo if you like, the Bond girls are often among the most anticipated elements of a Bond movie, and they usually meet expectations. Mixed reactions with regard to this one, though. Caterina Murino is pretty underused – think she could’ve had a bigger role, although Eva Green did a pretty fair job. Neither was overdone or tacky, and there wasn’t the whole “good-girl-bad-girl” runaround of the past 2 movies.

That’s not to say that they were perfect – like I mentioned, Caterina Murino is strictly one-dimensional, and Eva Green a tad – just a tad – unconvincing. But what the heck, no one’s perfect.

Best part of the movie – the starting sequence. Y’know, the little bit where they usually have the silhouettes of girls bending and twisting? This time around, they’ve got a rather different style, and better music to boot. Then again, it’d have to be pretty bad to not be better than Madonna, know what I mean?

On the whole, it was worth my time and money. The coldness in Craig’s eyes, his lack of fantabulous contraptions, and the casual irreverence he with which treats M (Judi Dench, convincing as ever) really help portray the image of a younger, inexperienced Bond out on his first sortie as 007.

I do have some reservations, however. Remember Timothy Dalton? The Living Daylights was a real shot in the arm for the franchise, but License to Kill pretty much killed Dalton’s career. It would be sad if Craig went the same way, and his next movie bombed. So although Casino Royale was certainly near-perfect, can Craig maintain the same level of quality, or will he be a one-hit wonder? As the cliché goes, I suppose only time will tell.

Attention! Conspiracy is afoot!

*I ran. I ran as hard as I could. It wasn't fast enough. As I turned my head back, time seemed to dilate; I could see the beast's mouth opening, as a monstrous roar issued from the gaping maw of t-*
"YOU!! PAY ATTENTION!!", bellowed my teacher. Well, ok, she didn't bellow, I was right in front of her, but it still seemed loud to me.

However, her remarks got me thinking(ha-ha-not-funny); what was this mysterious "attenshen"? Some sort of new currency? And why should I have to pay a fine for daydreaming in class? I mean, everywhere I go, everyone seems to be rich as far as “attenshen” goes. Everyone seems to be able to pay unlimited amounts of it, meeting even the high costs of school without flinching. "Pay attention in school? Of course I do", was the general response I got. What's more, everyone seems to be able to pay attention, everywhere. I must be getting old, if everyone's gotten rich in a new (and possibly international) form of currency without my knowing.

I can just imagine what the headlines must’ve been like...”World strikes it rich! Everyone except random guy in India is now a billionaire in new currency!”. Lovely.

But if it’s a real currency, then there's gotta be some kind of "Attention Economy", with depressions and bull runs and everything. I wonder how many dollars to the attention...but since everyone I meet seems to be throwing attention away like it was immaterial, I'm pretty sure attention's been pretty heavily devalued recently. Attention is probably worth as much as German marks were after WW1.

I'm pretty sure that there's a conspiracy afoot here (yes, another one of those); I mean, no one will show me these new currency notes, and when I ask for a loan of some (okay, a few million) attention(s?), people just laugh. It's like the whole world is trying to keep me attention-bankrupt, like a massive, orchestrated attempt by the entire world to keep one random person in the dark. A little implausible, perhaps, but more believable than the suggestion of no conspiracy at all. After all, there’s always a conspiracy. And it’s always aimed at the person who discovers it. True wisdom indeed.

Recently, I was discussing this idea with a friend of mine (incidentally, he’s attention-bankrupt too). He brought up several very good points; for starters, are there attention banks? In that case, can we change dollars/rupees into attention? Or (more importantly) vice versa? What’s the going rate?

If we can, I'm going to the bank first thing to get some attention. Rather, to convert some attention into harder currency. Alternately, we could steal some from someone with lots of it – some of my classmates, for example, are never told to "pay attention". I'm sure they wouldn't miss any. From there, all that’s left is to pay off the collectors, and I should be home free.

Random non-sequitur: why do we say "thank you"? It's like third person. Or caveman speak. Or something. I mean, "I thank you", could work; "we thank you" would be fine; but "thank you"? Who is thanking me? You? Your pet dog? The stoner across the street? Dubya? It's like saying "am smart", instead of "I am smart".

I think I'll go check with the bank now. Time to put on my ski mask...