Life is a Toothbrush
I like to think of myself as an open-minded chap. Y'know, always interested in what the other guy has to say, and stuff. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that current events are scary as all hell, and then some.
A while ago, I came to understand the true meaning behind the words "ignorance is bliss". And I've found that my life is a lot less stressful, and a lot easier on the whole, when i'm ignorant of things that would freak me the fuck out. Like the news. It's all about murders and killings and terrorists and crap these days. Hello, anchorpeople? I don't want to know about that stuff! I don't want to hear about a bunch of terrorists who've excaped from some prison. I don't wanna hear that Iran/North Korea/some other crazy dicktatorship(notice how they're all run by guys) is gonna send the world to Kingdom Come on a wave of nuclear flame! What I want to hear about is fluffy little bunnies and noble heroes! What I DON'T wanna hear is the rest of the story, where the fluffy little bunnies get run over by an 18-wheeler and turned into roadkill on the freeway and picked at by vultures and raccoons, and the noble hero turns out to have a thing for little boys, whips, and human flesh!
The same thing extends to school; learning that there's hydrochloric acid in my stomach is most assuredly NOT going to help me go to sleep at night. Ever since I learned about kidney stones, I've approached pissing with utmost caution. I now piss as slowly as possible, worried that a bunch of (not-so-)tiny stones might (very painfully) rip their way outta my kidneys via my willy. See what I mean? I think what we have is a problem. A very serious problem. We, as a people, have grown incapable of knowing when to stop. Don't believe me? Read on. As any regular reader - you over there, with the tinfoil hat - knows, I certainly don't know when to stop.
We go on stuffing our heads - and the heads of people around us - with as much information as we can, regardless of whether it's really what we/they want or not. And then we whine about knowing and try to fix it, when, had we not known, we could've saved ourselves the time and effort. Case in point? When I was 12 (or thereabouts), I read a book. One in a series called "Horrible Science", I think. From the same guys who came out with "Horrible History", or some such. Anyhow, I learned that when you flush the toilet after a session in the crapper, microscopic particles of...stuff...fly out and...well...they settle on things. including your toothbrush, if it's within a roughly 6-foot radius or so. And you put that thing in your mouth. And you think you're "cleaning" your mouth as you do it. Hell, I keep my toothbrush separated from my bathroom by several doors now. Had I not known, I wouldn't have had to devise and carry out the solution. But that's still not really the point.
See? Now, weren't you happier not knowing that little tidbit? I'll bet most of you are trying to forget it already. Good luck with that.
Now, I'm sure that a few of you will say that all this information has helped us reach a new age of rationalism, and how we're looking at a golden future, and blah blah blah, I don't know. And I don't care. I'm perfectly happy believing everything is the work of spirits and magic and all that new age crap. But I can't. Not anymore. Why not? Because I'm stuck. I'm unable to forget all this stuff I've learnt, and go back to believing pokemon are real and that I can get what I want by praying to a mystical spirit. Ah, the good old days. When everything was what it seemed, and it all seemed so good. As always, I point the finger (yes, the middle one) at society. They're such a decent scapegoat.
Oh well. What can one do? It's a crazy world after all.*
*(sung to the tune of "It's a small world aaaaaa-fter all)
(title justification: life, after all, is filled with tiny things you'd rather not know about, and I need a cooler one. preferably electric/automatic.)
