Colorblind

Prussian Blue.

For those of you fortunate enough to not know who they are, I’ll give you the rundown. Essentially, they’re a couple of preteen white blondie twins (no, not the Olsons) named “Lamb” and “Lynx” who call themselves a “White Pride Group”. Their website calls them the “guiding light of a new generation”.

Yes, Lamb and Lynx. No, I’m not kidding. Wish I were, but I’m not. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against being proud of your race or naming your kids whatever you want. I mean, I get Sunshine. I get Leaf. I even get Flaming Pile of Pus. But Lamb and Lynx? Were their parents high when they were naming them? Wait, forget I asked; I know they were. They had to be. Why else would they name one kid after food/clothing, and another after an old program/handheld by Atari?

As for the white pride thing… Girls, you wanna help inspire pride in white people by singing? Here’s some free advice: don’t. You’ve got nothing new/interesting to sell. Wait a couple years until your boobs fill out, and then you can at least try to get people to listen to you - with videos filled with gratuitous T&A. Hell, it worked for Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan didn’t it?

I actually went to the extent of picking up some of their (Prussian Blue’s) music and listening to it. Sad, but true. What really pisses me off, is not that they’re neo-Nazis (and pretty pathetic ones at that); it’s not that their granddad apparently loves Nazi memorabilia and plasters it everywhere; it’s not even that their mom (”April Gaede”) is a nutty cracker supremacist who makes the KKK look passé in terms of her brainwashing ability (with regard to her daughters, I mean); no, what really gets under my skin is none of that; it’s that, simply put, their music SUCKS!

I’m not talking sucky as in sort-of sucky. I’m talking sucky as in MEGA sucky. It’s just two scratchy voices mumbling the same incoherent phrases again and again, with some basic acoustic guitaring in the back! If you’re going to be the “guiding light of a new generation”, at least do it right, girls! Of course, the music industry being what it is today, these girls are probably going to end up with a contract with a major recording company (good riddance, they’re giving indie labels a bad name), have their videos edited so that they look older (gotta target the MTV demographic), become crack addicts and die of overdose at the ripe old age of 15 after releasing one album that goes nowhere.

Or so I hope.

I recall reading on the comments section of some blog that was parodying them – can’t remember which one – that they if/when they come up with a music video, they ought to do it standing behind a fully pimped out Panzer with like, gold everything and fur upholstery. Be that as it may, but like I said, not for a few more years, and NOT until I get some gratuitous T&A with it.

Moving on, I now direct your attention to their name. “Prussian Blue”? Sounds like a rip of Peruvian Blue (old slang for cocaine, now usually “Peruvian Lady”. or so I hear. not that I'd know. also a new band). They remind me of the Teletubbies; the only people who’d like them are people who have no clue what they’re saying/doing, or stoners who’re really, really high. The latter is pretty much the same as the former, but you get my point. I’ve listened to some of their music (a lot of it’s supposedly in German), and I have to say, Hitler really should’ve thought of using preteen white chicks with crappy music as advertising. The following are some quotes (verbatim, including any errors) of some fan mail from their website:

To be honest-I kinda agree with you girls… I mean I think it’s cool that god made us different& that we are different, but if we keep getting races mixed, we will have no idea who we are-and it will be a big BLOB of black, white, Asian, etc. I really don’t want that to happen. And I hope you girls do great on your music-because people need to know that we can’t end up as a big pile of un-known blob, and that we need to keep races un-mixed. I wish you girls much luck, & maybe people can see that you girls aren’t mean. And also, thank you for writing back! Now I know the truth-and NOT a lie. TV shouldn’t say lies about you girls, but I guess that’s what TV does… Well, good luck, thank you,& GOOD LUCK!!! : ) -Jenny-

and

Hi Prussian blue, I think you girls are awesome! I am white blonde like you, but I cant sing as good. I think its great that you girls wanna preserve our race :-) love Kelly

also

Dear Prussian Blue, I first read about you girls in a magazine some time ago, and I decided to visit your website. I’ve listened to some of the sample songs and I think they a wonderful. You are very talented and you WILL go far! I think your beliefs about preserving the White race are very important and special. And the more people you can get to understand that, the better. It is true that many white girls are getting black boyfriends, and I just don’t think that this is right. The reason we started off in our own countries, is so that our races would be separate and free to do our own things. Now, we have all been mixed into one, and the is no definite sense of “belonging” to one particular group. I was just wondering, (if it’s not being too nosy), did/do you have any black friends or mix with other races? Sorry, if this is a blunt question! Thank you, Jenny

What’s wrong with mixing with people of other races? What’s wrong with multiculturalism? I don’t know, but these girls sure seem to. While I believe that everyone is free to their own POV, I’ve never quite understood this one or ones like it. Belonging to a particular race? Way I see it, that’s just a waste of time, effort, and indicative of a lack of maturity. You can’t really help what race you’re born into, and whatever race you were born into has precious little effect on your mental constitution or lack thereof.

So why is it a matter of pride or shame to claim your genetic makeup? And since when was it against heterogenous-ness (if that’s even a word) to mix it up a little? Way I see it, you’re actually breaking the homogenous-ness (again with the word thing) by not keeping everything the same. Change is, after all, a cornerstone of life; you either change and adapt, or you wither and die. While the circumstances here are not nearly so serious as most in life, it’s a pretty accurate parallel with regard to the issue of racial mixing.

Seriously though, a couple of 13 year olds saying that they think races shouldn’t be mixed or we’ll all become homogenous blobs, and actually have people listening to them or caring? Like I said above, Hitler didn’t know what he was missing…

(for the record, uncyclopedia is awesome)