Do Shaved Legs Get Lice?
Period films are fun to laugh at.
I mean, look at them; there's people in ugly clothes, with nasty haircuts, and they act/talk all funny. Which is true of all Van-Damme/Arnold movies too. But they don't count because Van-Damme and Arnold are big and will asplode your head if you look at them funny. Back to the topic. My favorite period films are mid-1800's and before. If you thought your grandpa looked funny in that suit in that old picture, wait'll you see these guys. Especially the medeival ones. The guys have long hair, the ladies wear elaborately frilly dresses, and...their nails are all trimmed!
Not to be condescending or anything here, but how's that possible? I'm pretty sure they didn't have nail cutters back in the Dark Ages. And even if they did, what's with the cuts being so neat? I use a nice sharp new nail cutter, and I still mess up; how'd they do it back in the days before processed cheese? (Processed cheese is the benchmark against which all potential civilizations may be measured.)
So as I was paying attention to this, I noticed something else - the women's legs are always covered. Now, call me a sexist pig if you will (really, you don't have to), but men tend to have a thing for shaved legs. And like most of our preferences, they've been groomed into us for a long time after starting out somewhere as an odd/sick fetish (two words: high heels). So when did shaved legs start? And how?
I was thinking about all this, when I decided I'd better not. Some things just aren't meant to be questioned, and nail cutters and shaved legs are among them. New topic. Lice: little annoyances or friendly companions? The poor sods just want a home, y'know? And here we are, killing, murdering, and systematically eradicating them, as if they have no lives, or hopes, or dreams, or families. It's sick and cruel, is what it is. I'm going to start a society on the lines of the ASPCA, dedicated to protecting lice.
Y'see, having lice on our head can be a good thing; as long as we're friends with the Lice, the Mice won't dare attack us. Lice are the number one killers of Mice, even deadlier to them than Rush Limbaugh or even (*gasp*) Kenny G are to us. And that's a good thing. A very good thing indeed. (To be ranted about at a later date)
Before you ask, no, I haven't got any lice on my head. I've got reasons. Like the fact that my hair stays short, which supposedly (according to my mom) keeps lice away. (I'd like to have longer hair, but that's a story for another day) Or the fact that I wear processed cheese on my head (the answer to your first question is shaddup) on occasion. Or maybe it's just because it's my head. But whatever it is, the beggars have chosen. And they've left me outta the loop. Not sure whether I should be overjoyed or crushed...
Anyhow, anonymous guy commented about Michael Richards. You probably know him better as Cosmo Kramer. Well, here it is: the end of his career
Y'know, I think we're all a little (or more than a little) racist, and that we tend to say/do stupid things when we're angry. Yet again, an issue for another day.
7 comments:
Lol
;)
You sexist pig!
I can see all your female readers sharpening their talons after reading this one. We come that way naturally , dahling!
Really, your audacity and wild imagination is going to land you in the soup one of these days.
Sharp, new nailcutters? Try a butter knife next time.
Heh.
Really, you don't have to call me that...
Talons? Talons?! Holy handkerchief, Batman, where d'you hide those?!
Yeah, I'd use a butter knife, but all of mine are currently being cleaned. You see, when one is the holder of the title of "Shiny Butter Knife", it behooves one to spend days polishing ones butter knives so as to maintain an optimal level of shinyness. Not an easy task, you see.
Come that way naturally, eh? That would explain a lot, I guess...but do they get lice?
Of all the nerve!
And what's wrong with Kenny G. and brocade gowns?
Kenny G is Kenny G. Which is fine for some people, I guess, but not for me. Kenny X, now that I could take, but G? Sorry, no can do.
As for brocade gowns, I've nothing against them...so long as they aren't pink ;)
Hilarious. But from a scientific standpoint, you've missed an important aspect: the origin of the practice of shaving legs can be traced back to the problems our ancestors had with lice-infestation. That answers the question about lice, I suppose.
Whoa.
Damn, you're sharp. Didn't think anyone else would think of that.
Actually, I can't write very much about The Lice right now, I'm under a non-disclosure agreement from back when I worked for them. Rest assured, though, it's almost up, and I'll give you the full scoop as soon as it is ;)
Too funny man! Nice!
Post a Comment