Sweat Control

*As I stood in front of the goal, the sun beating mercilessly down upon me, I contemplated ancient mysteries such as homework. Sweat dripped down my face. I used my now-soaking sleeve to try to wipe it away, but it was of no use. Sighing, I turned my attention back to the game, my clothes sticking to my body as if they were painted on, trying to ignore the sweat dripping into my eyes.*

I (used to) play a lot of soccer, and I'm (was, really) usually the goalie. But that's not the point. Of this rant, that is.

The main issue I have with going outside and playing sports is the sun. As the passage above illustrates, I sweat a lot while playing soccer. Well, everyone sweats a lot when we play soccer, seeing as it's pretty hot over here around noon(when we usually get to play), and there isn't too much shade near the soccer field. But it really sucks. Mostly because of the whole clothes-sticking-to-you thing, but also because it makes it tough(er than usual) to sit in class afterwards, what with all the sweatyness and hotness and general stinkiness in the class. So I've decided on what I want for my next birthday: a way to control the sun's intensity. More like general cloudyness and rainyness control, really.

Maybe a knob, although I'd prefer a large meter for better control, y'know? Like, near-total darkness at the bottom, and near-total brightness at the top. Not only could I make it gray and rainy-ish all the time (which is generally how I like it), but I could also extort the governments of the world for a LOT of money.

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure there's a movie like that. The Avengers, if I'm not mistaken. I could be like Sean Connery; it wouldn't be too much of a stretch (no, I'm not old and bald. Ladies, you know what I mean *cheeky wink*).

Another thing I'll do once I get that weather control device: order the governments of the world to abolish mondays. We can have a new day of the week instead, to prevent massive chaos. It'll be called Shinyday. So the new week'll go something like Sunday-Shinyday-Tuesday. And then the rest of the week. Of course, Shinyday'll be an international holiday. A good idea, don't you think? Don't you? *pulls out large shiny knife*

- Topic Change -

I realized that I really need a life, because when the majority of your interaction with people takes place through the internet, you either need a life, or you REALLY need a life. Me, I'm pretty sure that I fall in the latter category. So I've decided to cut down on my computer usage, start studying, and get out more.

Yeah...right! *bursts into laughter*

Random non-sequitur: 2,500 lefties die each year using products designed for righties.